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May 23* 2005, 2:58 pm
So, they're gone. They left yesterday at noon and everyone got home safely. i feel strange about the trip. it was great to see everyone and it was a nice time. mike was especially nice to everyone and even showed them around any time i had to work. i guess he knew he owed me big time or something. i guess he is also now paid up. it is strange but i feel mad at my grandma. somehow, she has gotten old and it pisses me off. i know how ridiculous that sounds. everyone gets older. i know that. but she has been the same for the last 15 years and being different really caught me off guard. it makes me mad and upset and depressed. i somehow always thought my grandma was some exception. she would live forever and we'd all be happy. now she will tell you the same story over and over again in one sitting like she's never told it before. she gets tired really easily and she can't walk up stairs. she says things out loud when she means to just think them. i hate it. it equally makes me mad at my grandpa. i feel like having to take care of him for 4 years, 24 hours a day, aged her. took away years from her life. that isn't fair. i realize it's not fair for me to be mad about this. i don't care. i'm sure i will get used to it someday. but i doubt i will ever be happy about it.
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