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January 27*2003, 11:21 pm
so i have a computer again. only a week and a half and six hundred dollars later. holy moly. i have really been overloading my credit cards lately. they are both nearly maxed out. one has a really low limit, but the other one doesn't. joy. it is so cold lately that i just don't ever feel like going out, and once i am out, i don't feel like leaving wherever i am at to go home. brrrrr. i just want to snuggle up in bed with some hot cocoa. welcome to my very rich and tame fantasy life! most of what i paid for with the computer was data recovery- and they did recover a lot of things, but some things don't seem to be anywhere. some things that i would like to have. but thems the breaks. i have an interview at nbc tomorrow. it is for the page program. usually something people do right after interning at an nbc show- which i did, 4 or 5 years ago. so i feel more than a little lame going back now. but thems the breaks again. i am sick of tough breaks- i want something awesome and exciting. its been way too long since something truly awesome and exciting has happened to me without like 100 expensive shitty things happening. i was supposed to start working on a documentary last week- that was exciting. then i found out the day that i was supposed to start, that they did not need me, it is on hold for now, check back next week. crap. i was already counting on that work and money. and now i don't have it. so i only worked two days last week, and that ain't much. rent is due this weekend. and then bills. and then i am totally out of money. how shall i pay march's rent? i don't know either dude. i am sick of wondering about that stuff everyday. last week my friend jay was in town with his friend kevin. they were looking for an apartment and sleeping on my couch and futon. i was ready for them to go come saturday- you would not believe it. they also ended up taking a very shady apartment- but they're shady, so it might be a great idea. i hope they don't expect me to hang out with them a lot when they move here in a few weeks. whoa- i sound like an asshole. you heard here first folks- i am indeed an asshole. mike's hair has been very rad lately- he has put off getting a hair cut for months and it has gotten really shaggy. for a while it was like awkward, growing out shaggy, but now it is sexy shaggy. i'm not sure how that works. also, mike's friend dave is getting married in may and has asked mike to be his best man. this means mike has planning to do and has to go to san fransisco in may for the wedding. he wants me to go with him, but i know that i can't afford it. its weird because i have never even met dave, and i feel bad that i havent spent more time with someone so close to mike. like i should know him at least a little bit. i emailed him once. i guess that counts. yeah- we're totally BFF. i just feel weird, like its going to come off as me not making an effort, when that is really not it at all. if i could spend a weekend in san fransisco- i totally would. i just can't. boo hoo cryyyyyyyyyeyeyey. i played halo for the first time last night. i hate first person shooter games. that being said, i LOVED halo. i think i just loved that we were playing teams and stuff. i don't know how much i could just sit at home and play it by myself. time to get my life together. g'night.
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