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September 24*2002, 10:45 pm
i have started trying to get more excercise, so i now take the train to 1st avenue and walk 60 blocks uptown to work- or take the train to to work, and walk 60 blocks downtown to the L train. so far, so good. it is a strange walk. a lot of the city that i am not very familiar with, but have spent a lot of time in. it is basically a lot of hospitals, the UN, mike's parents neighborhood, and bridges and tunnels. there are these scary looking houses that look like crazy people should live in them. old brick. white, billowing curtains. ivy up the front. the whole nine. and then today i walk by them and notice the entrance around the corner says "bellvue patient ward". weird. i guessed it. its strange the way things for and by crazy people stand out. then i remembered that i almost stayed in bellvue, but they would not have accepted my insurance, so i passed, even though joe was pushing for it. it's one thing to be totally broke and depressed and suicidal. and a whole other to be totally broke and depressed and suicidal AND working up a thousand dollar a day debt. but i can totally see myself living there at some point. like dying there. hopefully i have insurance when i am older. or i will have have to find some cheaper place to die.
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