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January 22* 2005, 5:05 pm
i have been really distracted lately. i can't concentrate on anything for more than five or ten minutes. mike thinks that i am just sad about my grandpa. i guess that's part of it. but he was really sick. so sick. that i have been missing him for years. and now that he is gone, it's different and it's sad but in a way i am glad that he doesn't have to be in so much pain everyday. i guess i just keep thinking about the "big picture" the "future" and all that crap. it's been really getting me down. i live far away from many people that i love. i don't like that. i feel like i am taking things for granted in my life and wasting time. i feel like i am not doing something right. i think there are a few things that i need to do to settle and then i can get going with things. man, whatta downer. |