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February 07* 2004, 10:06 pm

i am beginning to hate my apartment. i am here all the time by myself. just passing time. sitting here. it isn't the apartment's fault. it's just where most of my money goes and i am trying to save right now, so it makes sense to just stay in all the time.

it's just lonely.

i need something to look forward to. i just don't know what.

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i have been in all night watching cruddy movies by myself. the wedding planner, fools rush in, and that movie where jennifer aniston and a gay guy are planning to raise a baby together.

the best though was a lifetime movie that i remember watching when it was a monday night movie on nbc. it starred shannen doherty as a sorority sister who has an enemy/best friend who is trying to ruin her and take over her life. it was even better than "mother, may i sleep with danger?"

all in all i am pretty sure i have seen at least 7 movie weddings tonight. and at least 4 of them were cancelled in mid-ceremony.

that is a big movie trick, run out on a wedding, or meet someone better right before your wedding.

it seems the nation is as commitment phobic as i am.

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on thursday mike handed me a paper that he said i should read an article in. then told me he found said paper on the floor of a public bathroom. i can barely pee in a public bathroom, let alone touch the floor. i dropped the paper and asked him what he was thinking. he thinks i am weird about bathrooms.

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