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November 14*2002, 11:26 pm
i have not bitten my fingernails since october 23rd 2002. frankly, it is getting to me. (to be fair- i have bitten two fingernails a few times since then- which did nothing but annoy mike) i got this stuff called "STOP NAIL BITING!" that i have to put on my fingernails and it tastes like poo. i tried this last year but the stuff was not as good, and i learned how to just peel it off and bite away. this stuff just wont leave!! and its annoying because even if i just scratch the area around my mouth i taste the acidic taste for hours. and when i got particularly stressed i would just bite and put up with the taste and make myself nauseaus. mike thought i was cheating and taking the stuff off which pissed him off- but when he realized that i was just putting up with the taste he just thought i was deranged. maybe i am. god that made me sick. literally sick to my stomach. and mike says that sometimes he kisses my face or lips he can taste the stuff just from where my fingers have touched. gross. i told him i would stop using it if it was bothering him, but he didn't fall for the bait. DAMN. i have a terrible oral fixation. i have been chewing gum and eating candy to fill the void (hello fat pants, nice to see again), but it's just not working. i am now getting good at picking at my nails with my other nails. god, i have a problem. |