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August 26*2002, 1:32 pm
i am always embarrassed to tell people how old i am. not because i am old and want to pretend to be younger and not let time drag me into my thirties- as so many perpetual 29 year olds feel. but that i am younger than people think and when they know they immediately judge me for it. i hate people associating young with naive and stupid. when i was 18 i went out with a guy who i thought was 24 or 26 maybe, and then he told me his birthday was coming up and that he was having a really hard time with it etc... and when i asked why he said because he was "thirty and there is nothing like the guy you are interested in say "whoa! you're how old!? i could be your dad". that is pretty much the only sign you need to know that is the last date. and i hate when people automatically project their own lives on me. like "oh i remember when i was 20- all i did was party". well, when i was 20 i was holding down two jobs and going to school full time and partially completed my masters. i never had time to party and never had time to be a kid, so dont act like i'm some frat idiot who doesn't know the meaning of the word responsibility just because you were that way. i think this is why i have never really dated guys my own age- they tend to be frat idiots who don't know the meaning of the word responsibility. i know that is a very generalized stereotype but what i mean is, that i just don't have a lot in common with guys my own age. and right now mike is 32- 9 years older than me. and i dont think that is an important difference. mainly because we are at very similar points in our lives and have a lot in common. i think age difference shouldn't matter unless its an issue that comes up a lot. it has rarely come up with us. i do know though that his parents have assumed that i am 25 or 26- under no fault of mine. but i have not corrected them either. mike is very private about the details of his relationships with his parents so i figure it's not my responsibility to correct them. and i honestly would rather them think that. for whatever dumb reason i have. and lately i have forgotten how old i am on many occassions and told people i was 24 or 25 when asked. just not thinking. mike tends to be the one to correct me. someone i used to know called me the most middle aged 20 year old he knew. it makes me wonder how old i will seem when i am middle aged. at this rate i am gonna have to retire soon. i would love that! i fantasize about retiring everyday. mmmmmm zzzZZZZZzzZzzzzZZZz |