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June 20*2002, 3:03 pm
i have been having a very unsteady time with my weight and my skin in the past 7 months. it all started when i had a craz-ay asthma attack and pretty much stopped breathing. i was put on massive steroids in order to open my lungs. i immediately gained like 15 pounds. when i went to the doctor the next month for a checkup i complained to the nurse and she said "honey, i gained over 25 pounds, you should be thankful." which actually did make me a little thankful, if not a lot. then finally this spring after all the holidays etc... i lost that weight and was pretty much just back to normal. before this- i had been at pretty much the same weight for approx. 2 years. even with lifestyle changes etc... once i started seeing mike i started eating a lot more. like 3 meals a day and food groups. he is a healthy eater. but i didn't gain any weight then. damn medicines. so recently i was on celexa- and i was fine while on it- but the second i went off it here came the weight! i'm barely even eating- and it is just piling on. what the hell. i do not want to be a dieting type of woman- but i have to do something. this is just weird. and my skin i think did not like my recent birth control change. i have never really cared about skin or taken particularly good care of mine and always thought it was average at best. so i am not really complaining. it just couples with the weight loss/gain yo-yo in an interesting way. i really need to do laundry today but keep putting it off. i am a true lazy ass today. i wonder if it is just everyday but today i am admitting it. i have been awake sine 8am and have not done my laundry yet- now it is 3:12pm. where did all my time go?? i took a brief nap where my friend sharon was HIV positive and we all just knew and it was since she was a kid. (not the case in real life) and we ate really good mexican food. i woke up confused about sharon's actual health and hungry. i can't explain where the other 6 hours went. holy moly. last night mike came home 4 hours late- and i thought "poor him, working so late" since i knew he would have to get up early. and we had planned to go to a show last night that i learned had been moved to tonight. then he gets home at midnight to tell me he went out with his friend and had forgotten to mention it. he forgot that i would be home and forgot that we had plans. yet- when i mentioned he needs to write things down he got annoyed. people with much better memories than his still write things down. yet he refuses. he's like an alcoholic who won't admit he has a problem. i was pissed. i am going to make banana pudding today- hopefully the way my grandma makes it- otherwise i will be disappointed. |