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May 21* 2002, 3:50 pm
there seem to be a great deal of hassidic jews who see therapists at the same place that i go to for therapy. i'd be really interested to know what they talk about in therapy. i bet it goes something like this: hassidic jew: it makes me uncomfortable the way you show your arms so blatantly in the office. therapist: would you like me to cover up more? hassidic jew: it makes me feel like i am in a strip club, which i like, but at the same time i find terrible and loathe anyone who could do that. therapist: that is interesting. hassidic jew: i mean, my wife is there. i knew she was the one when i saw her at her 6th birthday- the way she covered herself from head to toe and knew not to speak until spoken to at such a young age. therapist: she sounds perfect. hassidic jew: she does sound perfect. but something about the girls at "wild wild west" that ony wear boob tassles and cowboy boots give me an erection. therapist: so you like what you can't have? hassidic jew: oh i have it, they're morally reprehensible not me. therapist: of course. hassidic jew: i am god's chosen. therapist: oh right i forgot. hassidic jew: i'd appreciate if you never forgot that again... and wore boob tassles to the next appointment. THE END i should write this as a one act play entitled "oh my lord, hassidic jews are scary and gross!" it will be the toast of broadway. until then i will get back to painting the living room.
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