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March 28, 2002, 12:50 pm
i bite my fingernails. when i was a baby i sucked on my index finger. not my thumb. my index finger. i sucked on it so much that it was basically one big callous. it was probably pretty gross for everyone to see. my grandma tried to trick me into being weened off of the index finger sucking by waiting until i fell asleep and substituting a carrot. i would spit out the carrot and go right back to the finger. then one day when i was about 4 i just stopped. miraculously. i just slept with nothing in my mouth. it started on a car trip with my grandparents to oklahoma. i was sleeping in the floor of the backseat and from then on there was no more finger sucking. there was, however, nail biting. and it has never calmed since. i bite my nails a lot. i think it comes from a combination of my oral fixation and my nervous energy. but i have tried stopping in recent years and all it does is make it worse. i bite all the time, but it gets a lot worse when i am nervous or stressed. it makes my grandma so sad to see my "poor pidly nails" when she sees me. and sometimes random strangers feel the need to tell me that i am disgusting and need to stop. mainly deli workers. "bite bite! stop it!!" and i will look up from across a store baffled. and they will say- "you! stop it!" that pisses me off. i just bite more and more. right now the index finger of my right hand has barely any nail left on it. i have a problem biting my fingernails. |