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2002-01-30, 4:07 p.m.
today the move begins. at least it will be breifly started. i have been so bogged down with the details that i have not stopped to think what i am actually getting myself into. i mean, there's no going back now. just two years ago i had no boyfriend. i had never really had one. just some random "friends" here and there and some very short lived dating scenarios. and now here i am living with a guy. well, not yet, but i will be in 3 days. and he seems to be counting down because this morning he looked around and said "3 more days" all smiley. i'm glad we're going into it smiley at least. packing is such a pain though. and so are the technicalities, like leases, and money and scheduling. everything else has been placed on hold. and my stress level is through the roof. i keep having anxiety dreams that the schedule is messed up, or i forgot to pack. i guess thats what happens when you decide something big, out of the blue. and living my roommates is so strange that i don't think that its actually hit me yet. we're practically a family. the plan is to be at each other's places all the time. and have tv watching parties. and do what we do now, just with more space. hopefully that is what will happen and it won't just dissolve immediately. we're 5 minutes apart. it better not dissolve immediately. i think all my initial reasons for not wanting to live with mike were misled. i see the guy practically everyday. there are no secrets there. seen the dirty underwear. have a cleaning schedule. already seen the swimsuit issues. and all of that has been fine. i think it was more of a "this is something old poeple do"- afterall my dad lives with his girlfriend. and i'm not old and did not anticipate being at this stage so soon. but that's life i suppose. and i shouldn't worry about what i "should" or should not" be doing so much and just go with the flow. i think way too much. today- the lease. tomorrow- home depot! |